I open my eyes only to become aware of another pair staring back at me. The eyes are deep and grey and match the brows that frame the eyes, the mustache that frames the thin mouth and the hair that frames the somber face. A familiar face, yet one I would swear I had never seen before. The familiarity brings me comfort along with confusion. I ask myself “Why is He here?” without ever asking who He is or where I am. I am alert and standing up but don’t know how I got here. The background beyond the man is vague yet unimportant and familiar all at once.
The man places something in my hand and says it is given to me to choose. This is how it is supposed to be and I will know upon whom I am to bestow it. I look down into my hand and comprehension sinks in. The short wooden rod in my hand was simple, but as I look upon it my mind is filled with its significance. How could they place this on me!? I don’t have the wisdom or the right. I don’t know if I have the heart.
I look up and the man is gone. I cannot tell him that I cannot do it. The rod is for me. I must guide it and have it touch someone chosen by powers with depths I do not understand. Some would call it a gift, some fate and others call it doom. What will it be for this someone? How will they view their own death? Why me? Death is such a serious thing. Who am I to choose who lives and who dies?
I begin my walk as my surroundings come into focus. I pass people on the streets. I walk along, looking at those I pass, seeing their lives more clearly than before and understanding the desires of their hearts.
Friends shout greetings as I approach and we share warm smiles and a camaraderie that extends beyond our awkward words. My heart skips a beat as I pray that I won’t be told that it is one of them upon whom the rod must fall. They have so much to live for. They are the kind of people that will go out and live their dreams and not let life pass them by.
I sigh with relief as I embrace the last of them and know that they have yet more lives to touch and many more adventures to enjoy.
A truck approaches me and I see a familiar face within. He pulls over and we share a few joking words. My eyes focus on other things while we talk- I see his family, I see how they need him and how they bring him joy. I apologize for my distant look and wave him on his way, glad to know that his family would keep him.
I see a grandmother playing ball with a young boy in the park. She is still needed. Not her.
The boy is safe as well. He has a few rough years, but he will grow and bring joy to those in his life.
I continue on in my own thoughts. Marvelling at the great potential I see in those I pass. Could I have helped them achieve it? Would I have lived differently if I could have looked at others like this all along?
I pass a park and I see older kids playing on the swings and around the playground that is almost too small for them. One of the young ladies runs up to me and gives me a hug. I smooth her brown hair down as she starts telling me about her day and the games they were playing. The smile across her face has always brought a smile to my face, however, today it takes effort. As I look into her face I see all the wonderful things that she could be. I also see that it is not to be. The rod is supposed to fall upon her.
How could this be!? So young and loving! Enjoying life, bringing smiles. There must be a way. I can’t do this.
The inside struggle is brief. I know I will pay the consequence for it when I see the Man again and have to return the rod. I make up my mind and know that she should live, maybe there is someone better.
I leave her quickly, hoping that I will not be forced to return. I make my way along the streets that I seem to know. I see faces I recognize and now know, more than I ever have before, about their dreams and the possibilities for their futures. They are all a blur to me. I keep walking. Not thinking about where I am going, I end up at a friend’s house. There is a party going on so I hide in the corner and just watch people until I know I can put it off no longer.
I go into an empty back room. As I turn from closing the door, the Man is there. The Man reaches out and I give him the rod. He looks down and shakes his head, telling me that I knew this is what had to happen. I know it and accept it and he disappears.
The sun is setting as I start walking down this grassy field. I had made the choice. I feel my heart beginning to slow. Each beat a little slower, each more precious.
Two women and a man circle around me as I lose strength to stand. I am getting tired. They keep thinking that if only this and if only that had happened, I would live. They are sad and don’t want me to leave them.
I lay there, reassuring them that this is how it is supposed to be. I am at peace. Death is not scary, it is not doom, it is just another step in the adventure. I have lived my life, so I smile. I feel comfort as my heart slows.
I feel the love of those around me and wish I could let them know that things are okay. How can I let them know? My heart finishes its last rhythm and I close my eyes. The sunset creates a beautiful array of colors that I pray brings comfort to those that I love.
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Friday, October 29, 2010
What Paradise Holds
There was this competition in an arena where I had to deflect a rocket being launched from entering these holes, or I had to get them in the holes, I don't remember. But I got a tip that it was easier to position the rocket depending on your position to the moon. It was weird. I don’t remember the outcome of the competition, but we had to run from there (we as in my companions and I) because people were trying to kill us.
We ran through a town that reminded me of old market places, but it was present time period. I noticed a man who was in obvious distress and rather frazzled. I saw him popping pills. His family got a lot of crap because of him.
(this parts is funny but sad)
They said his name was Horton- as in Horton hears a Who.
He claimed to be hearing voices, but didn't want his family to catch the crap for it, so he was taking anti-psychotic drugs to make the voices stop. You could tell it wasn't helping and the town knew it.
There is this big gap and I can't piece together what happened here.
Then I am swimming out to an island with someone. I think it is for safety and to hide. We almost drown swimming out there, and knew it was a possibility when we started out. but we make it in one piece.
The beaches are this beautiful white sand! They are so smooth and have the most perfect slope you can imagine. It was amazing- a paradise. I saw this conch shell that I was going to grab, so I started getting on my snorkeling gear. By the time I was ready, my companion had grabbed already grabbed it. I was so jealous. I still wanted to find something of my own, so I began to snorkel around.
(In my dreams I often switch from which perspective I see the dream- I don't always see it through my own eyes)
My companion and I were snorkeling when I start to see these corpses in the shallow areas of the beach. They were rather fresh and you could still identify them by their hair and clothes and even some of the skin remaining on their faces. I realized that my companion was heading into an area where other corpses were. I tried to shout out to her. She was swimming ahead of me, and I realized that she, my companion, was me and I was looking out through the eyes of the person who was my companion.
I was doing everything I could to keep her from swimming forward because I had noticed something she had not. The corpse that she was about to swim over would traumatize her. I watched her as her eyes opened wide and the recognition spread across her face and tried to rush to help her for I had not warned her in time.
The corpse she was swimming over was her own.
We ran through a town that reminded me of old market places, but it was present time period. I noticed a man who was in obvious distress and rather frazzled. I saw him popping pills. His family got a lot of crap because of him.
(this parts is funny but sad)
They said his name was Horton- as in Horton hears a Who.
He claimed to be hearing voices, but didn't want his family to catch the crap for it, so he was taking anti-psychotic drugs to make the voices stop. You could tell it wasn't helping and the town knew it.
There is this big gap and I can't piece together what happened here.
Then I am swimming out to an island with someone. I think it is for safety and to hide. We almost drown swimming out there, and knew it was a possibility when we started out. but we make it in one piece.
The beaches are this beautiful white sand! They are so smooth and have the most perfect slope you can imagine. It was amazing- a paradise. I saw this conch shell that I was going to grab, so I started getting on my snorkeling gear. By the time I was ready, my companion had grabbed already grabbed it. I was so jealous. I still wanted to find something of my own, so I began to snorkel around.
(In my dreams I often switch from which perspective I see the dream- I don't always see it through my own eyes)
My companion and I were snorkeling when I start to see these corpses in the shallow areas of the beach. They were rather fresh and you could still identify them by their hair and clothes and even some of the skin remaining on their faces. I realized that my companion was heading into an area where other corpses were. I tried to shout out to her. She was swimming ahead of me, and I realized that she, my companion, was me and I was looking out through the eyes of the person who was my companion.
I was doing everything I could to keep her from swimming forward because I had noticed something she had not. The corpse that she was about to swim over would traumatize her. I watched her as her eyes opened wide and the recognition spread across her face and tried to rush to help her for I had not warned her in time.
The corpse she was swimming over was her own.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Our Own Little Islands
This dream happened a while back. Like other times, where it takes a simple movement or thought to trigger a replay in my head of a dream that I had not remembered perhaps since the morning I woke up from it, this one came back randomly while driving with a friend. It is the connections in the dream that I am fuzzy on, but I will try and paint the picture as best I can.
I lived in a place where each house was its own little island. We were out in the ocean and had to travel between houses by boat. These weren't little tropical houses, but normal, in-land houses on a piece of land that stuck out of the ocean but had no beach, it just cut off.
I went to visit my friend in his house. It was the length of a small house and had no inner walls. The outside walls were of old barn wood and there were planks missing in the walls and more missing from the roof. I tried to share his enthusiasm as he showed me around. I suggested fixing up the place and making it more sturdy, but he was content with how it was and how it fit in with his life.
After a little while I felt a storm coming, like a drop in barometric pressure that could slap you across the face. I stepped outside and could see the horizon darkening. A big storm was coming and where we lived that meant a hurricane.
I rushed inside to grab my friend and run to a more secure location, but he wouldn't come. He tried to brush of my insistence with confidence in his house and his desire to wait the storm out there. All my pleading with my dear friend got me nowhere and the winds only got worse. It got to the point where I knew if I risked the storm any further, I would die, too.
I sped home. My home was small but made of bricks. I grabbed a few things and then headed outside. It was hard to get back on the wave-runner I was using because the waves were tossing it around, but I eventually was able to mount it and head toward the mainland.
The storm overtook me before I could make it to the shelter of the mainland. I came across a fast-food place and ran inside, seeking what shelter I could find. The walls were mostly windows, as most fast-food places are, but it was better than being caught out on open water.
As I entered, I tried to shout at people to take cover, but for some reason they just wanted to watch the clouds darken outside and the wind rip the leaves off trees. Did they think the glass was going to save them from the storm?
In attempt to save myself and the child that I was protecting, we hid behind one of the half-walls they have in the seating area. (I do not remember if she had been with me the whole time, if I picked her up at the house, or if she found me in the restaurant, but at this time I distinctly remember her being there and me doing everything I could to protect this precious child.) Something finally broke the glass and the screaming began. glass was flying everywhere, but we were sheltered from the worst of it. I found a door that lead to a storage closet and hid in there til the worst had passed.
The next thing I remember is racing inland to find my family. I knew that chaos would soon break loose on the main-land because of the storm. I ran with the child to find my mother at a super-mall.
The mall had many stories of shops and a complex system of ramps and pathways between the individual shops. I was surprised that I could find my mother at all in the maze of merchandise.
I found her with my elder sister and quickly explained the situation. We rushed to find my youngest brother. We were fortunate to find him quickly, but had more difficulty finding my middle brother.
We finally found him. He had transformed himself into a mannequin! I think he was trying to practice his stealth and observe others unnoticed. I was infuriated!
The mall was already filled with chaos. People were running from one direction to another, things were burning and mobs were forming.
I yelled at him and told him to change himself back immediately. As soon as he realized what was happening, you could see it in his eyes. We stepped back so he could change back.
In that moment, things happened so quickly I could not intervene. A small mob came up, picked up the mannequin that was my brother and threw him over one of the walkway ledges!!!
"GABRIEL!!!!!" I screamed.
I leaned over the rail in time to see him shatter into pieces. My heart was breaking. He was so close and I couldn't save him. If I had only made it there just a moment sooner he would still be alive. My brother would still be with us, not lying in pieces beneath us being trampled by those running mindlessly in the chaos, if I had only done better.
We had to move on.
With tears held back, I urged the rest of my family onward. I had to be strong and not fail the others.
In exiting the building, we dodged other things being thrown from higher levels. At one point we were nearly smashed by a large Christmas tree. We made it out only to see that chaos had enveloped everything, everywhere.
My sister, my mother and I talked as my brother held the child I carried with me. We pulled our money together and knew what we had to do.
There was an island a distance from the shore where we knew that there would be safety to be found. I don't know what was different about this island, but there was hope, and that was more than we had here.
We all walked to the end of this pier, pushing our way past others who also knew that there was hope on this island. Because of the demand for watercraft, with all the money we had, all we could purchase was a small waverunner and enough gas for one trip out there.
I stood there, holding the hands of my mother and sister. We held our heads high as we shouted words of encouragement to my brother. He held the baby and looked back over his shoulder with tears in his eyes. One last look. Then he started up the small waverunner that was all we could afford and headed toward the island.
We were able to give hope to him and the child and that was as much as we could do. Death eventually awaited us on the mainland, but that was not nearly as painful as the regret of wishing we could be there for my little brother and the child in the life we hoped they'd find.
I lived in a place where each house was its own little island. We were out in the ocean and had to travel between houses by boat. These weren't little tropical houses, but normal, in-land houses on a piece of land that stuck out of the ocean but had no beach, it just cut off.
I went to visit my friend in his house. It was the length of a small house and had no inner walls. The outside walls were of old barn wood and there were planks missing in the walls and more missing from the roof. I tried to share his enthusiasm as he showed me around. I suggested fixing up the place and making it more sturdy, but he was content with how it was and how it fit in with his life.
After a little while I felt a storm coming, like a drop in barometric pressure that could slap you across the face. I stepped outside and could see the horizon darkening. A big storm was coming and where we lived that meant a hurricane.
I rushed inside to grab my friend and run to a more secure location, but he wouldn't come. He tried to brush of my insistence with confidence in his house and his desire to wait the storm out there. All my pleading with my dear friend got me nowhere and the winds only got worse. It got to the point where I knew if I risked the storm any further, I would die, too.
I sped home. My home was small but made of bricks. I grabbed a few things and then headed outside. It was hard to get back on the wave-runner I was using because the waves were tossing it around, but I eventually was able to mount it and head toward the mainland.
The storm overtook me before I could make it to the shelter of the mainland. I came across a fast-food place and ran inside, seeking what shelter I could find. The walls were mostly windows, as most fast-food places are, but it was better than being caught out on open water.
As I entered, I tried to shout at people to take cover, but for some reason they just wanted to watch the clouds darken outside and the wind rip the leaves off trees. Did they think the glass was going to save them from the storm?
In attempt to save myself and the child that I was protecting, we hid behind one of the half-walls they have in the seating area. (I do not remember if she had been with me the whole time, if I picked her up at the house, or if she found me in the restaurant, but at this time I distinctly remember her being there and me doing everything I could to protect this precious child.) Something finally broke the glass and the screaming began. glass was flying everywhere, but we were sheltered from the worst of it. I found a door that lead to a storage closet and hid in there til the worst had passed.
The next thing I remember is racing inland to find my family. I knew that chaos would soon break loose on the main-land because of the storm. I ran with the child to find my mother at a super-mall.
The mall had many stories of shops and a complex system of ramps and pathways between the individual shops. I was surprised that I could find my mother at all in the maze of merchandise.
I found her with my elder sister and quickly explained the situation. We rushed to find my youngest brother. We were fortunate to find him quickly, but had more difficulty finding my middle brother.
We finally found him. He had transformed himself into a mannequin! I think he was trying to practice his stealth and observe others unnoticed. I was infuriated!
The mall was already filled with chaos. People were running from one direction to another, things were burning and mobs were forming.
I yelled at him and told him to change himself back immediately. As soon as he realized what was happening, you could see it in his eyes. We stepped back so he could change back.
In that moment, things happened so quickly I could not intervene. A small mob came up, picked up the mannequin that was my brother and threw him over one of the walkway ledges!!!
"GABRIEL!!!!!" I screamed.
I leaned over the rail in time to see him shatter into pieces. My heart was breaking. He was so close and I couldn't save him. If I had only made it there just a moment sooner he would still be alive. My brother would still be with us, not lying in pieces beneath us being trampled by those running mindlessly in the chaos, if I had only done better.
We had to move on.
With tears held back, I urged the rest of my family onward. I had to be strong and not fail the others.
In exiting the building, we dodged other things being thrown from higher levels. At one point we were nearly smashed by a large Christmas tree. We made it out only to see that chaos had enveloped everything, everywhere.
My sister, my mother and I talked as my brother held the child I carried with me. We pulled our money together and knew what we had to do.
There was an island a distance from the shore where we knew that there would be safety to be found. I don't know what was different about this island, but there was hope, and that was more than we had here.
We all walked to the end of this pier, pushing our way past others who also knew that there was hope on this island. Because of the demand for watercraft, with all the money we had, all we could purchase was a small waverunner and enough gas for one trip out there.
I stood there, holding the hands of my mother and sister. We held our heads high as we shouted words of encouragement to my brother. He held the baby and looked back over his shoulder with tears in his eyes. One last look. Then he started up the small waverunner that was all we could afford and headed toward the island.
We were able to give hope to him and the child and that was as much as we could do. Death eventually awaited us on the mainland, but that was not nearly as painful as the regret of wishing we could be there for my little brother and the child in the life we hoped they'd find.
Monday, April 19, 2010
Hell in a Street Sign
So, just so you get an example of some of my dreams that don't make sense, I thought I'd tell you about one from the other night.
We had Hell contained in an old, metal street sign that had been shot a few times with a shotgun. I don't know how or why, but we had somehow managed to contain Hell into this sign, and the only way to keep it contained in there was to hit it with these other metal-like things. It made an aggravating noise even for human ears, but it was keeping Hell in.
We were in a house and people were running all around, trying to keep the minions of Hell from getting inside and releasing it from the sign. I wasn't involved with the fighting, I had to make sure that Hell didn't get out. At one point during the fighting, we were not doing so well, so my friend and I, in charge of the sign and keeping Hell in, took it and hid in this food pantry.
The next thing I know, I am fixing a dryer. There was a hole in the thing that tumbles the clothes and clothes kept getting wedged in between the tumbler and the base. So, I had to reach in and pull out a a brightly striped sock so that it would tumble again. I knew it was almost pointless because more clothes were just going to get jammed in there if we didn't plug the hole.
It's random. I know. This is how they usually are, so I don't post them all. I just thought I'd give you a glimpse on what it's like normally.
We had Hell contained in an old, metal street sign that had been shot a few times with a shotgun. I don't know how or why, but we had somehow managed to contain Hell into this sign, and the only way to keep it contained in there was to hit it with these other metal-like things. It made an aggravating noise even for human ears, but it was keeping Hell in.
We were in a house and people were running all around, trying to keep the minions of Hell from getting inside and releasing it from the sign. I wasn't involved with the fighting, I had to make sure that Hell didn't get out. At one point during the fighting, we were not doing so well, so my friend and I, in charge of the sign and keeping Hell in, took it and hid in this food pantry.
The next thing I know, I am fixing a dryer. There was a hole in the thing that tumbles the clothes and clothes kept getting wedged in between the tumbler and the base. So, I had to reach in and pull out a a brightly striped sock so that it would tumble again. I knew it was almost pointless because more clothes were just going to get jammed in there if we didn't plug the hole.
It's random. I know. This is how they usually are, so I don't post them all. I just thought I'd give you a glimpse on what it's like normally.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Just Because It's Good, Does It Mean That It's Right?
Piecing together my dream last night was kind of difficult because there are a few snippets that I don’t know where they really began or ended and where they fit in. However, even leaving some of those out, it was still pretty interesting.
My dream began as I was part of a family party out on this great expanse of green grass. It was obvious that it was set up for a wedding but that seemed to not have happened. I left the party and walked toward a house that was atop of the hill of grass.
Once inside, I went down a square stairwell that lead to the cellar. There, I encountered two young Irish teenage boys. We started talking and they flirted with me for a while and it was nice. Then their demeanor changed and they were trying to get me to do something. I didn’t understand exactly what it was that they wanted, but I knew that it scared me.
I ran passed them and out the door. The door had changed and now lead me out into an old village square where the roads were dirt and people were driving wagons. I was in a long skirt and had to pick it up to run. I ran around the central park and stopped short as a wagon with two men in it stopped in my path and came after me.
I darted into a store that was selling produce. I ran past barrels and crates displaying fruits and vegetables. When I had gotten to the end of them, the fruit was being displayed under lights and with sprinkler systems for watering them. The floor was also tiled and there were checkout stands between me and the automatic front doors.
I ran outside and jumped in a car with some friends and started driving away. We were calm, feeling as if the danger had passed. When we stopped for some pedestrians in the street, I saw two young men about my age that I recognized as friends walking up behind our car. They were both what I knew could be considered trustworthy as well as charming. I realized that they would be the perfect set up if someone wanted to capture me and convince me to do that which I was running from because I felt it wasn’t right. I told the driver to speed up and swerve around the passengers. As he did, the two walking behind us got angry and started running toward us.
A chase ensued. It was classic in the weaving in and out of traffic, around building and swerving to try to lose our pursuers. Then the dream faded.
I reentered my dream at a point where we were still being chased. However, we were now in hovercraft-type vehicles. Our craft dodged in and out of giant, fallen statues and toppled sky-scrapers. Again, the dream faded.
When I again reentered my dream, I had been caught. I was being taken before the man that was leading this movement, this idea that I was running from and fighting against. We were on his spaceship and there was a great view of the stars behind him. He was wearing a cape that almost made me laugh out loud. He interrogated me and tried to get me to crack, but I held strong. I looked down on him as he drew closer to yell into my face. My eyes and heart held firm and he got no information out of me.
He sent me back to my cell with one of his lead men. Apparently I was not to be trusted. When I was placed back in my cell, the man of considerable rank, who escorted me, entered as well. He quickly showed me some information on a screen in the wall. I knew that this was information vital for my escape and to help others.
I looked again at the man who was helping me. I realized that he had helped me before. In each of the different time periods that I had been in, I had been caught. And each time, this man had passed me information and helped me escape.
To cover our exchange of information, we had to make it look like he was taking advantage of me when the guard looked in. After there was a witness, he slipped out of the room and I was able to escape.
There was more time that I spent running through tunnels and avoiding those under this man’s influence. It was so bad that the entire government was turned. I was able to find other groups of people like me and pass on the information that I had received.
At one point when I turned a corner I ran head on into a group of “police” troops. They were covered from head to toe in a suit of solid colors. Built into the suit was armor and weaponry. Each different shade was used to denote rank and, in some ways, personal identity.
In a split second I was pelting out the nearest exit into the street. All the speed that my legs could produce and all the experience and agility built into my lean, trial hardened body were not enough to save me from the ambush that awaited me.
Troops circled the cemented area right outside the opening that I had exited. I froze. For a moment I tried to figure out how I could take some of them with me and end up dying instead of being turned. I knew that brainwashing was what awaited me if I were caught alive again.
I never had a chance to die. I was hit with a blast from one of them that knocked me out. The only impression was of me, lying on the ground looking up. It was as if someone had drawn a mark on me. There was a ring shining on my head with a straight line down the centerline to my navel. Where the line crossed the shoulders was a perpendicular line that had two shorter lines extending downward about where the line reached the deltoids. There was a second line perpendicular to the centerline that was shorter than the first and about heart level. This whole mark was drawn in bright red light. I knew once I felt it on me that there was no hope of saving the real me. Then there was nothingness.
I woke up.
I was upright, alert, dressed in a bright red uniform and had a weapon in my hand. I was facing two similarly dressed individuals. One was in dark purple and the other in dark green. I recognized them as my friends that chased me at first. I felt the excitement that my friends felt that I had finally joined. I felt a strong feeling that what I was a part of now was right. It was for the good of everybody, if only they’d see, if only they’d join. The power and the good that this movement could do was amazing!
I now lead a troop of soldiers through the underground tunnels that I knew so intimately. It felt so right to be leading them so that others could be shone the light and any resistance could be distinguished. Turning right and left, with every step I knew I was doing that which was right, that which would help the cause.
It wasn’t until I was holding a gun and cornering a family in one of the tunnels and looking into the frightened faces of the children and the defiant look on the parents’ faces- faces that I knew personally- that I faltered in my new found direction.
Was this path right? Was it good for me to force people to take it? Just because it could do good, did it mean it was morally right?
My dream began as I was part of a family party out on this great expanse of green grass. It was obvious that it was set up for a wedding but that seemed to not have happened. I left the party and walked toward a house that was atop of the hill of grass.
Once inside, I went down a square stairwell that lead to the cellar. There, I encountered two young Irish teenage boys. We started talking and they flirted with me for a while and it was nice. Then their demeanor changed and they were trying to get me to do something. I didn’t understand exactly what it was that they wanted, but I knew that it scared me.
I ran passed them and out the door. The door had changed and now lead me out into an old village square where the roads were dirt and people were driving wagons. I was in a long skirt and had to pick it up to run. I ran around the central park and stopped short as a wagon with two men in it stopped in my path and came after me.
I darted into a store that was selling produce. I ran past barrels and crates displaying fruits and vegetables. When I had gotten to the end of them, the fruit was being displayed under lights and with sprinkler systems for watering them. The floor was also tiled and there were checkout stands between me and the automatic front doors.
I ran outside and jumped in a car with some friends and started driving away. We were calm, feeling as if the danger had passed. When we stopped for some pedestrians in the street, I saw two young men about my age that I recognized as friends walking up behind our car. They were both what I knew could be considered trustworthy as well as charming. I realized that they would be the perfect set up if someone wanted to capture me and convince me to do that which I was running from because I felt it wasn’t right. I told the driver to speed up and swerve around the passengers. As he did, the two walking behind us got angry and started running toward us.
A chase ensued. It was classic in the weaving in and out of traffic, around building and swerving to try to lose our pursuers. Then the dream faded.
I reentered my dream at a point where we were still being chased. However, we were now in hovercraft-type vehicles. Our craft dodged in and out of giant, fallen statues and toppled sky-scrapers. Again, the dream faded.
When I again reentered my dream, I had been caught. I was being taken before the man that was leading this movement, this idea that I was running from and fighting against. We were on his spaceship and there was a great view of the stars behind him. He was wearing a cape that almost made me laugh out loud. He interrogated me and tried to get me to crack, but I held strong. I looked down on him as he drew closer to yell into my face. My eyes and heart held firm and he got no information out of me.
He sent me back to my cell with one of his lead men. Apparently I was not to be trusted. When I was placed back in my cell, the man of considerable rank, who escorted me, entered as well. He quickly showed me some information on a screen in the wall. I knew that this was information vital for my escape and to help others.
I looked again at the man who was helping me. I realized that he had helped me before. In each of the different time periods that I had been in, I had been caught. And each time, this man had passed me information and helped me escape.
To cover our exchange of information, we had to make it look like he was taking advantage of me when the guard looked in. After there was a witness, he slipped out of the room and I was able to escape.
There was more time that I spent running through tunnels and avoiding those under this man’s influence. It was so bad that the entire government was turned. I was able to find other groups of people like me and pass on the information that I had received.
At one point when I turned a corner I ran head on into a group of “police” troops. They were covered from head to toe in a suit of solid colors. Built into the suit was armor and weaponry. Each different shade was used to denote rank and, in some ways, personal identity.
In a split second I was pelting out the nearest exit into the street. All the speed that my legs could produce and all the experience and agility built into my lean, trial hardened body were not enough to save me from the ambush that awaited me.
Troops circled the cemented area right outside the opening that I had exited. I froze. For a moment I tried to figure out how I could take some of them with me and end up dying instead of being turned. I knew that brainwashing was what awaited me if I were caught alive again.
I never had a chance to die. I was hit with a blast from one of them that knocked me out. The only impression was of me, lying on the ground looking up. It was as if someone had drawn a mark on me. There was a ring shining on my head with a straight line down the centerline to my navel. Where the line crossed the shoulders was a perpendicular line that had two shorter lines extending downward about where the line reached the deltoids. There was a second line perpendicular to the centerline that was shorter than the first and about heart level. This whole mark was drawn in bright red light. I knew once I felt it on me that there was no hope of saving the real me. Then there was nothingness.
I woke up.
I was upright, alert, dressed in a bright red uniform and had a weapon in my hand. I was facing two similarly dressed individuals. One was in dark purple and the other in dark green. I recognized them as my friends that chased me at first. I felt the excitement that my friends felt that I had finally joined. I felt a strong feeling that what I was a part of now was right. It was for the good of everybody, if only they’d see, if only they’d join. The power and the good that this movement could do was amazing!
I now lead a troop of soldiers through the underground tunnels that I knew so intimately. It felt so right to be leading them so that others could be shone the light and any resistance could be distinguished. Turning right and left, with every step I knew I was doing that which was right, that which would help the cause.
It wasn’t until I was holding a gun and cornering a family in one of the tunnels and looking into the frightened faces of the children and the defiant look on the parents’ faces- faces that I knew personally- that I faltered in my new found direction.
Was this path right? Was it good for me to force people to take it? Just because it could do good, did it mean it was morally right?
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Eaves dropping on Apostles
The other day I recalled a dream from a few weeks ago.
I was cross-country skiing up to a yurt in the Uintahs. I went there over a year ago, so I recognized the place. When we arrived at the yurt, it was beautiful spring weather and the snow was gone.
I sat at the picnic table with some friends and I grumbled inwardly, well mostly inwardly, at the other people coming up the trail and disturbing the beautiful, peaceful, mountain scene.
My gaze spanned across the lake that took center stage of view from the yurt. The light blue reflected from the water's surface and contrasted majestically with the deep green of the pines that blanketed the mountains surrounding the valley.
As I acknowledged the beauty that I beheld, my consciousness/entity moved forward til it was at the center of the lake. The Trees that I gazed upon then transformed til I was looking up at the twelve Apostles.
It was as if the lake had become their table and they were all seated around it. I felt as if I were eavesdropping through some magic. My body was now swimming in the lake, treading water as I looked up at these giant figures.
They were discussing which Apostle would be assigned to which area of the world. When it came to Henry B. Eyring, he was pleased to accept an area that had a certain school in it because of his attachment to that school.
After he accepted the assignment to speak there, I had to turn my body in the water while treading water so I could look at the person next in the circle. I was both stunned and not surprised at all to see that Jesus Christ, the Savior, was sitting with them in the meeting. I wish I could describe Him to you, but even though He was completely recognizable for who He is, I am unable to remember what He looked like.
I was cross-country skiing up to a yurt in the Uintahs. I went there over a year ago, so I recognized the place. When we arrived at the yurt, it was beautiful spring weather and the snow was gone.
I sat at the picnic table with some friends and I grumbled inwardly, well mostly inwardly, at the other people coming up the trail and disturbing the beautiful, peaceful, mountain scene.
My gaze spanned across the lake that took center stage of view from the yurt. The light blue reflected from the water's surface and contrasted majestically with the deep green of the pines that blanketed the mountains surrounding the valley.
As I acknowledged the beauty that I beheld, my consciousness/entity moved forward til it was at the center of the lake. The Trees that I gazed upon then transformed til I was looking up at the twelve Apostles.
It was as if the lake had become their table and they were all seated around it. I felt as if I were eavesdropping through some magic. My body was now swimming in the lake, treading water as I looked up at these giant figures.
They were discussing which Apostle would be assigned to which area of the world. When it came to Henry B. Eyring, he was pleased to accept an area that had a certain school in it because of his attachment to that school.
After he accepted the assignment to speak there, I had to turn my body in the water while treading water so I could look at the person next in the circle. I was both stunned and not surprised at all to see that Jesus Christ, the Savior, was sitting with them in the meeting. I wish I could describe Him to you, but even though He was completely recognizable for who He is, I am unable to remember what He looked like.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
"Dark have been my dreams of late."
Two nights ago I woke up during a dream that was absolutely wonderful.
I was in somebody's arms. They were holding me and their hands were lovingly caressing my back, my arms... I felt so loved. It was so real that it woke me.
Since it was 3 hours before I cared to wake up, after a minute or two I closed my eyes to fall back asleep. The dream returned. But it had changed. Now when I looked into the eyes of the man that held me, the love that had been there was replaced with lust, greed and anger so intense that they glowed. Instead of feeling safely held, it was now as if he was pinning me down.
Fear filled me, my heart started racing and I struggled to get free...
I woke from my shallow sleep and could not sleep for hours.
Last night I dreamed of a place where we were mixed with a different sort of species. They looked human enough and we had apparently gotten along quite well for years.
The dream started with the announcement that something had started triggering Them into killing sprees. Each humanoid was not triggered to kill everybody, just certain people, but would kill others that stood in their way.
It was hard to hear, because we had been friends with some of Them. We lived on a campus/compound area that we knew we could secure from the inside. We had to set up situations where we could get the few of Them that lived with us on the compound into rooms that we could lock from the outside. We hoped this would keep them and us safe until whatever was happening could be figured out.
In one situation I was coached on how to get one of them into a room with a few of my friends from school sitting by me in chairs. When She was brought into the room She was so much taller than me. She looked down on me and said something that I do not recall. I was holding a thing of crackers in my hand. When she saw the crackers, this somehow set her off. I watched as she turned from my friend to a creature similar to the zombies on "I am Legend." Before she was able to attack me, others restrained her and lead her to a holding place.
After this, the campus seemed pretty calm. There were a few more of Them that were not secure, but they seemed more peacable and we had hopes of talking them into some of the rooms just to make sure nothing happened.
I was talking to one of my friends near one of the bathrooms when, from across the main commons, I hear a voice calling me saying "She's on a killing spree!"
I turned to see a commotion in a group of people where some had been trying to talk to one of Them. I heard this creature shout my friend's name that I had been talking to. I quickly drove him into the bathroom with those around me. A few people quickly blocked the door and stood against it.
My heart was pounding as I listened to Her shreaks from outside through the windows high up on the walls of the bathroom. I saw a shadow of a head appear at one of the windows as she jumped to get a look of the inside. I could tell that she was almost certain my friend was in the bathroom that we had secured, but I did not want to imagine the rage she would let loose trying to get in here if she saw him. There wasn't much we could do. I felt helpless and scared just waiting for her to break through somehow.
I had pushed my friend into a stall that was opposite the windows where she was looking. Knowing my friend, curiosity had overridden his common sense, because, as I looked over to make sure he was hidden, I saw his head poke above the stall walls. How could he be so stupid!? I rushed into the stall and held his head down. I swear he would go deaf from being so close to the pounding noise my heart was making in my chest.
I looked up from him toward the window because the shouts outside had risen in pitch as well as those from within the bathroom. I woke, heart racing, with the distinct impression that she was no longer outside the bathroom...
I was in somebody's arms. They were holding me and their hands were lovingly caressing my back, my arms... I felt so loved. It was so real that it woke me.
Since it was 3 hours before I cared to wake up, after a minute or two I closed my eyes to fall back asleep. The dream returned. But it had changed. Now when I looked into the eyes of the man that held me, the love that had been there was replaced with lust, greed and anger so intense that they glowed. Instead of feeling safely held, it was now as if he was pinning me down.
Fear filled me, my heart started racing and I struggled to get free...
I woke from my shallow sleep and could not sleep for hours.
Last night I dreamed of a place where we were mixed with a different sort of species. They looked human enough and we had apparently gotten along quite well for years.
The dream started with the announcement that something had started triggering Them into killing sprees. Each humanoid was not triggered to kill everybody, just certain people, but would kill others that stood in their way.
It was hard to hear, because we had been friends with some of Them. We lived on a campus/compound area that we knew we could secure from the inside. We had to set up situations where we could get the few of Them that lived with us on the compound into rooms that we could lock from the outside. We hoped this would keep them and us safe until whatever was happening could be figured out.
In one situation I was coached on how to get one of them into a room with a few of my friends from school sitting by me in chairs. When She was brought into the room She was so much taller than me. She looked down on me and said something that I do not recall. I was holding a thing of crackers in my hand. When she saw the crackers, this somehow set her off. I watched as she turned from my friend to a creature similar to the zombies on "I am Legend." Before she was able to attack me, others restrained her and lead her to a holding place.
After this, the campus seemed pretty calm. There were a few more of Them that were not secure, but they seemed more peacable and we had hopes of talking them into some of the rooms just to make sure nothing happened.
I was talking to one of my friends near one of the bathrooms when, from across the main commons, I hear a voice calling me saying "She's on a killing spree!"
I turned to see a commotion in a group of people where some had been trying to talk to one of Them. I heard this creature shout my friend's name that I had been talking to. I quickly drove him into the bathroom with those around me. A few people quickly blocked the door and stood against it.
My heart was pounding as I listened to Her shreaks from outside through the windows high up on the walls of the bathroom. I saw a shadow of a head appear at one of the windows as she jumped to get a look of the inside. I could tell that she was almost certain my friend was in the bathroom that we had secured, but I did not want to imagine the rage she would let loose trying to get in here if she saw him. There wasn't much we could do. I felt helpless and scared just waiting for her to break through somehow.
I had pushed my friend into a stall that was opposite the windows where she was looking. Knowing my friend, curiosity had overridden his common sense, because, as I looked over to make sure he was hidden, I saw his head poke above the stall walls. How could he be so stupid!? I rushed into the stall and held his head down. I swear he would go deaf from being so close to the pounding noise my heart was making in my chest.
I looked up from him toward the window because the shouts outside had risen in pitch as well as those from within the bathroom. I woke, heart racing, with the distinct impression that she was no longer outside the bathroom...
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